In reality, this question concerns many people who have found themselves in unpleasant situations. Sometimes we may feel guilty for a short time, but for some, this problem can torment them for many years, or even their entire life.
In this article from the “Psychology” section, we will examine the key reasons why feelings of guilt may arise and how to get rid of them. On one hand, it is quite normal for a person to feel pangs of conscience about some misconduct, but at the same time, it would be wrong to go to extremes.
How to Get Rid of Feelings of Guilt
It is often very difficult for a person to get rid of feelings of guilt alone. An individual often cannot even understand what is happening to them and where the anxiety is coming from. It is important to understand the difference between being guilty and feeling guilty.
For example, if you insulted someone without any apparent reason, you may be tormented by pangs of conscience, which is quite normal. However, when someone tries to impose a feeling of guilt on you unjustifiably, that is a different matter.
You should also consider the personality type of the individual. For example, if it is easier for a phlegmatic or choleric person to get rid of feelings of guilt, for a melancholic person, it can become a real tragedy.
Why We Feel Guilty
Specialists believe that most of our feelings and experiences originate from childhood. Parents and those who raise the child play a significant role in this. Many cannot get rid of feelings of anxiety simply because of childhood memories.
Moreover, a person may not have been involved in any negative event, but upon hearing an accusation against them, a subconscious conviction of their guilt begins to develop. For example, we may reproach ourselves for not becoming like our father or mother, or because we did not meet our parents’ expectations.
Thus, negative events or emotions that occurred in early childhood can cause worries in adulthood.
Consequently, a person may fail to get rid of pangs of conscience while being completely innocent.
The foundation of each of our personalities is upbringing and the environment we live in. From a young age, we hear various instructions from parents, neighbors, teachers, and relatives. These can relate to rules of behavior, religion, hygiene, speech manners, and many other factors.
It turns out that when a child does not break any rules, they feel good, and conversely, when they break them, they start to worry and feel pangs of conscience.
Feelings of Guilt
As a rule, sensitive people are prone to worry about almost anything, while others may remain calm even when it is unacceptable. Often, such people simply shift responsibility onto others, seeing nothing wrong with it.
The Benefits and Harms of Feeling Guilty
Is it useful to feel guilty sometimes, or is it purely a negative emotion? Initially, it is essential to identify the positive and negative sides of guilt.
Positive Aspect
When something starts to worry a person, it serves as an indicator that they might be doing something wrong. Essentially, they feel guilty for violating their principles and compromising their conscience.
Thus, guilt acts as a form of self-control. Thanks to this, a person can avoid similar situations in the future.
Negative Aspect
Sometimes, some people condemn themselves so severely that they reach an extreme. This can lead to depression. In such cases, immediate action is necessary, or you might spend your entire life blaming yourself for something you didn’t do.
For example, for not being able to save friends or relatives from a serious illness, prevent an accident, or stop a natural disaster. Even though you are well aware that you are not guilty, the feeling of guilt still lingers.
How to Get Rid of Feelings of Guilt
Now we come to the most important part, namely, how to get rid of feelings of guilt.
- Conduct an Honest Self-Analysis: Reflect on whether you are truly guilty in a particular situation or if the guilt is imagined or imposed by someone else. Many often conclude that their guilt is merely a product of their imagination.
- Apologize If You Are Truly Guilty: If you are genuinely guilty, find the courage to apologize to the person. If they have passed away, repent for the pain you caused and mentally ask for their forgiveness.
- Talk to a Trusted Friend or Psychologist: Sharing your worries with someone you trust or a psychologist can be very effective. Discuss everything that troubles you without holding back your emotions. This often helps significantly in alleviating feelings of guilt.
- Write Down Your Concerns: If there’s no one to open up to, write your concerns on a piece of paper. Detail all your worries and the reasons for your guilt. Include the cause of your anxiety and various ways to rectify the situation. Then read it carefully. Often, this process helps release pent-up emotions. You might cry or get angry while writing, and in the end, you’ll be surprised at how many pages you filled. You can then burn these “manuscripts” as a symbolic gesture of letting go of the past.
- Mentally Revisit the Incident: Imagine the incident that prevents you from letting go of guilt and try to find an explanation for your actions. What prompted you to behave that way? Maybe you intended to do good, but things turned out differently. It’s important to understand that a person cannot foresee all consequences. It just happened the way it happened.
- Learn from Past Situations: Extract lessons and conclusions from past situations to avoid repeating mistakes in the future. At least from now on, you will understand the potential consequences of your actions.
Finally, remember not to justify yourself to others or feel guilty for every minor mistake. Continuous apologies can become a habit, leading you to justify yourself to others with and without reason.