Time is the most valuable resource in human life. Often, looking back on one’s life, a person begins to regret actions they took or didn’t take. For many women, the age of 40 is psychologically critical. By this age, clear signs of aging often begin to appear. With the loss of beauty and health, women may start losing the attention of men and the opportunity to find new love, start a family, or have children. What do women most regret when they cross this difficult milestone? A survey of nearly 2,000 women has shed light on this.
Ruined Their Health
After 40, a person’s health is no longer what it used to be. Weight gain begins, physical activity decreases, and fatigue at work increases. All those harmful habits that seemed to have no effect on the body suddenly make their presence felt. At this point, it’s impossible to correct the mistakes of youth. Many people only realize the finiteness of life after 40 and begin to value their health more.
Couldn’t Strengthen Their Relationship with Their Husband
Often, after many years of a successful marriage, a wife starts to realize that she doesn’t understand her husband very well. They live in the same space and raise their children, but often they have no common interests. It’s not uncommon for a woman to plan “cultural programs” for the weekends—excursions, museums, exhibitions, theater—while the man simply wants to stay home and watch football.
Seeing this situation, the woman begins to feel that her husband is a stranger she lives with not out of love but because it’s “more convenient.” Many blame themselves for not giving enough attention to their partner in their younger years. This misunderstanding becomes especially troubling after their children grow up and start their own lives, as it removes the main topic for conversation between the spouses.
Spent Free Time on Work Instead of Family
Gone are the days when the man was considered the sole breadwinner and the wife was responsible for domestic comfort. In most families, both spouses work. However, many women, after 40, reevaluate their life experiences and realize that a career is not everything.
It’s more important to focus on raising children and strengthening the marriage. Often, parents have strained relationships with their children and blame their busy work schedules. As a result, children’s worldviews are shaped by the street, school, friends, and sometimes even television or the Internet, leading to a future barrier of misunderstanding between generations in the family.
Didn’t See Much of the World and Traveled Little
Women generally love to travel more than men. Just visit any travel agency and observe the gender composition of clients. Moreover, the older a woman gets, the more she enjoys old houses, paintings by great artists, and city monuments. Traveling is easier when young—people have more energy and fewer family constraints. Therefore, women over 40 often wonder why they traveled so little, given the broad opportunities they had in their youth.
Often, regrets about not traveling more are influenced by friends who share exciting stories about their travels. Listening to these stories, a woman might feel that her life wasn’t as vibrant. In such situations, it’s better to remember other achievements (such as having children, a successful marriage, or a flourishing career)—often, well-traveled friends lag behind “homebodies” in these areas.
Had Too Few Children
Before a woman turns 35 or even 30, she often believes that she will still have time to have children and can focus on herself for now. However, after 40, it becomes clear that having children is more challenging. Despite this, the maternal instinct does not disappear and often even grows stronger. Women who have achieved career success and financial stability often feel particularly sad.
They start to think that all their efforts were in vain—what’s the point of living in a spacious and comfortable apartment if there are no children? Problems with children can also affect relationships with husbands. Men may accuse women of not having a child, and these disputes often lead to divorces.
Abortion is also worth mentioning separately. Almost everyone who has had one regrets it later. Firstly, health problems often arise. Secondly, with the awakening of the maternal instinct, feelings for the unborn child emerge. Thirdly, as people age, many become more religious, visit temples more frequently, and confess their sins. Recognizing abortion as a sin causes women to suffer for the rest of their lives.
Didn’t Spend Enough Time on Themselves
This is the most common regret among women. By nature, women give more to others than they take for themselves. They give love to their children and partners, create a cozy home. Statistics show that women are much more likely than men to donate money to charity.
At the same time, they often restrict their own needs and engage in unappealing tasks. As a result, after crossing the 40-year mark, women start to feel that they have spent their entire lives on others, even if they were very close. The situation worsens when relationships with loved ones change dramatically—children start their own families, husbands leave for others, and parents pass away. At such moments, women begin to think that they invested too much effort in those who are no longer around.